To the Mercy Killers, by Dudley Randall
If ever mercy move you murder me,
I pray you, kindly killers, let me live.
Never conspire with death to set me free,
but let me know such life as pain can give.
Even though I be a clot, an aching clench,
a stub, a stump, a butt, a scab, a knob,
a screaming pain, a putrefying stench,
still let me live, so long as life shall throb.
Even though I turn such traitor to myself
as beg to die, do not accomplice me.
Even though I seem not human, a mute shelf
of glucose, bottled blood, machinery
to swell the lung and pump the heart--even so,
do not put out my life. Let me still glow.
Who are the Mercy Killers? The speaker references them twice here; once in the title, and once more in the second line as "kindly killers." I only want to know because this killer can change the definition and the meaning of this poem (whatever it is) in a heartbeat. At the beginning of this poem, I thought the speaker was talking about an obvious higher power that holds the treasure of life and death over human beings. But the more I read on, the more I realized that this speaker sounds like he's speaking to himself instead of this higher power (God, Zeus, Buddha, whoever). Throughout the poem I picture this speaker sitting cross-legged on the ground, gathering bits of himself to collect his strength before some type of onerous challenge that could cost him his life.
The third sentence, which starts on line 9, was the first game-changer for me, when he says "Even though I turn such traitor to myself/ as beg to die, do not accomplice me" (lines 9-10). Who is he speaking to? Back to my imaginative scenario, it seems like he's talking to himself. He's reinforcing his mind to stay strong. "Do not accomplice me" refers to his more pessimistic, Debbie-downer side of him that always wants to give up, turn himself over…kill himself. This transforms the poem from a religious prayer of strength to a battle of inner ideologies, inner drives.
Of course, like all well-written poems and novels and stories, noticing this tone change wasn't a coincidence. Upon reading the footnotes, Randall wrote this poem like a Shakespearean sonnet (ABAB, CDCD, EFEF, GG). However, the iambic pentameter is lost after the second line…that is because combines this technique with an Italian model of structure, which is a separation between the first eight lines with the last 6 lines. The physical structure is Shakespearean, but the tonal structure is Italian. And guess where the tonal shift is here? Yes. Line 9.
So with all of this in mind, what is the tone of the first 8 lines? There is a paradox here in the first two lines; the first is the connection of mercy and killer. It's interesting that the title combines these two words, yet the first two lines deliberately separate the two. How does done kill out of mercy? The pain of life must be too overbearing, worse than death itself, the absence of being or feeling. So in a twisted way, the speaker pushes away mercy, does not wish for it to enter his own heart. The first four lines in general seem like the running monologue of anybody with a terminal condition, be it cancer or any type of disorder. The pain of life, for them, is not a blessing but a curse that can only be cured by death. But is pain better than "nothing"? The speaker continues with this motif of pain and suffering, and it seems to me that he prefers this pain over death. Even if the pain comes from "a clot, an aching clench," (line 5) and all these other horrible maladies, they are all simply reminders of the throb of life.
The tone shift starting in line 9 transitions from physical ways of dying and suffering to more mental weaknesses that may push someone to take his own life. This is where the duality of minds, of angel and demon, come into play with a person's desire to live or die. Even if he turns on himself to take his own life-- even if he thinks he is nothing to this world, as noted by his self-examination as "a mute shelf/ of glucose, bottled blood, machinery" (lines 11-12)-- this mindset of being 'nothing', death-like, can be revived with the glow of life, even if means pain and suffering.
You may think he's some self-deprecating, pathetic individual who can never put his life together. But don't we think about this all the time? Maybe not to this extent, but the question of life and death circulates in everyone, even if "life" and "death" aren't explicitly stated. When we are in pain, whether physical or mental, do we not think about getting better by stopping all this feeling? By putting the tears to a halt? And what better way to do this, if not to take your own life? Ok, so maybe that last question is over-stepping it a little bit. But for those poor souls who did take that next step into that type of questioning to take their lives probably went the opposite direction than Randall's poem. But that's why I love this poem so much; it is quietly powerful in its pain, and if I had the power to give each struggling, questioning person this poem to acknowledge the power they have over their own life (and why they should treasure it, not throw it away), it would give a fair amount of re-consideration and appreciation for the life that's given.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Shakespeare, the Scribe to my Morals
"My words fly up; my thoughts remain below.
Words without thoughts never to Heaven go"(Hamlet, III, iii, 97-98).
After giving an honest try at understanding the twisty-turny words of Shakespeare, I must admit there is some level of connection between the reader and this ancient 1600s play. My freshman self wouldn't have believed it. I remember all too painfully the first time we attacked Shakespeare with what was presumably his funniest work: A Midsummer Night's Dream. How awkward it was, not only for me but for the teacher, as we skimmed through many of the "dirtiest," "funniest" lines with blank, confused eyes and a lack of understanding (on the students' part). But I've realized that really giving the time to analyze these words that Shakespeare is construing and misconstruing gives much more meaning than giving a straightforward, simple dialogue (which I guess is the case for all good literary work). Throughout my freshman and sophomore years, Shakespeare always made me angry. Since we never actually focused on the meaning of the words (which we're doing now), all Shakespeare meant to me was a writer for the lame stories we've come to base our pop culture around--forbidden love from Romeo and Juliet, the struggle for kingship in Macbeth, bundled up in an obsolete form of English language that I was too lazy to look into. There was an emphasis on the plot instead of the diction, and for that reason No Fear Shakespeare became my best friend.
Geez, starting on a tangent before even addressing the quote. It's there for a reason, I promise. Reading the last two rhyming lines of the third scene of the third act of Hamlet gave me slight chills because of how incredibly relevant that sentence is. Relevance? In a Shakespeare work? Forget about it. And yet here we are, gasping and reeling at Claudius's hideous crime and getting extremely annoyed with Hamlet's indecision to do anything about it (in my opinion, at least). Everybody knows the basic story to this tragedy--if you've seen The Lion King, that is. Why bother reading it then? Suddenly it isn't about the plot anymore, but rather the relationships between the characters and the way they speak.
But this specific quote is my personal favorite in Hamlet so far, mainly because it rings so true in my head for some reason. To simplify, Claudius says that his 'grief' and 'need to repent' is empty and false since he doesn't truly think or believe in the words he says. For this reason, any prayer he sends about his murderous deed or his dead brother-king isn't light enough with truth to float to heaven and be "heard" by God, or whoever it is that lives there and decides our mortal fates. It can be taken two ways, now that I think about it; his words may be fake without the input of thought, which disables him to get to heaven. Or, the heaviness behind the words due to his true murderous thoughts make it too heavy for it to go to Heaven. When I read these lines, I felt like I've learned something extremely important, even though a part of me knew this information already. It's almost like whatever I feel is moral and immoral has just been verbally described by Shakespeare. Me, connect with Shakespeare? Yeah, right.
But it happened. The desperate measures I take to avoid boredom during a snow-in are astounding, but I gotta say it paid off somehow.
Words without thoughts never to Heaven go"(Hamlet, III, iii, 97-98).
After giving an honest try at understanding the twisty-turny words of Shakespeare, I must admit there is some level of connection between the reader and this ancient 1600s play. My freshman self wouldn't have believed it. I remember all too painfully the first time we attacked Shakespeare with what was presumably his funniest work: A Midsummer Night's Dream. How awkward it was, not only for me but for the teacher, as we skimmed through many of the "dirtiest," "funniest" lines with blank, confused eyes and a lack of understanding (on the students' part). But I've realized that really giving the time to analyze these words that Shakespeare is construing and misconstruing gives much more meaning than giving a straightforward, simple dialogue (which I guess is the case for all good literary work). Throughout my freshman and sophomore years, Shakespeare always made me angry. Since we never actually focused on the meaning of the words (which we're doing now), all Shakespeare meant to me was a writer for the lame stories we've come to base our pop culture around--forbidden love from Romeo and Juliet, the struggle for kingship in Macbeth, bundled up in an obsolete form of English language that I was too lazy to look into. There was an emphasis on the plot instead of the diction, and for that reason No Fear Shakespeare became my best friend.
Geez, starting on a tangent before even addressing the quote. It's there for a reason, I promise. Reading the last two rhyming lines of the third scene of the third act of Hamlet gave me slight chills because of how incredibly relevant that sentence is. Relevance? In a Shakespeare work? Forget about it. And yet here we are, gasping and reeling at Claudius's hideous crime and getting extremely annoyed with Hamlet's indecision to do anything about it (in my opinion, at least). Everybody knows the basic story to this tragedy--if you've seen The Lion King, that is. Why bother reading it then? Suddenly it isn't about the plot anymore, but rather the relationships between the characters and the way they speak.
But this specific quote is my personal favorite in Hamlet so far, mainly because it rings so true in my head for some reason. To simplify, Claudius says that his 'grief' and 'need to repent' is empty and false since he doesn't truly think or believe in the words he says. For this reason, any prayer he sends about his murderous deed or his dead brother-king isn't light enough with truth to float to heaven and be "heard" by God, or whoever it is that lives there and decides our mortal fates. It can be taken two ways, now that I think about it; his words may be fake without the input of thought, which disables him to get to heaven. Or, the heaviness behind the words due to his true murderous thoughts make it too heavy for it to go to Heaven. When I read these lines, I felt like I've learned something extremely important, even though a part of me knew this information already. It's almost like whatever I feel is moral and immoral has just been verbally described by Shakespeare. Me, connect with Shakespeare? Yeah, right.
But it happened. The desperate measures I take to avoid boredom during a snow-in are astounding, but I gotta say it paid off somehow.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Mr. Invisible
I've got many problems with this book.
It goes beyond the tough language, the seemingly endless sentences (that usually go on to create their own paragraphs), the sporadic way in which the narrator speaks, or even the narrator's own personal and quite twisted problems he's got going on in his head. No, this I can all deal with. At least, I can tolerate it. But the one thing that really grinds my gears, that I'm constantly reminded of as I open the annoyingly thin pages of this book, is that the narrator's name is never stated. There is no hint nor suggestion of his name anywhere in the 19 chapters that I have read so far. Like the drug commercials coined in their terrifying commercials--not even once.
Of course, it didn't seem like a big deal five chapters in. I kept thinking that his name will pop up somewhere, when Dr. Bledsoe calls him into his office, or when he writes his name for a job application. Anything, really. But it was finally the last straw when I meant to annotate a specific portion of a reading and ended up writing "He told him that he wasn't supposed to go, yet he goes against his own judgement?" Yes. Word for word, an annotation. I don't even know who I'm referring to at this point. It's irritating and distracting for my nit-picky brain that wants to know everything. And of course, the pain of annotating. I've given up on that a couple of chapters later; he's a John Doe in my mind.
But since all AP Lit books are written by genius authors who probably knew more or less what they were doing, I'm grudgingly guessing that Ellison had justification for leaving the narrator's name tag empty. Besides torturing future AP Lit students with the pain of not knowing,his the narrator's lack of identity from something as simple as his name probably says a lot about the nature of this guy in the first place. From the beginning, we read him as an unidentifiable character, and as I read throughout the chapters I've noticed that I find it easier to identify with his struggles and his pains against society's unbending rules. By avoiding a literal "label" for the protagonist, the author succeeded in having readers sympathizing with this protagonist (even if he strikes me as a little bit of a brat sometimes).
And by acknowledging this style, the narrator's lack of identity becomes more profound in that his invisibility stems from his worthlessness in this world. Throughout the novel, the narrator loves likening himself to a machine of some sort, or as a minuscule fore in the grand scheme of things. When asked for an interview to represent the goals of the Brotherhood, the narrator replies, "I'm no hero and I'm far from the top; I'm a cog in a machine. We here in the Brotherhood work as a unit" (pg. 396-397). There are many cogs in a machine; you wouldn't waste your time naming each one. Likewise, he identifies himself as part of a unit; that is, he considers himself not even a whole being, but only a part of a larger picture. What is a name for, at this point? He is one out of millions of African Americans, one out of billions of human beings in this world. The absence of a name expounds on this statement that the author is trying to get across. In relation to the mass of humankind, this protagonist is nothing, even though he likes to think he's doing brave and innovational things. When he stands in a crowd with the rest of the population, he is invisible.
The main point I want to get out of this is that this narrator is not literally invisible. Which, really, is a stupid assumption to make, but I honestly thought he was in the first portion of the book. While he's at school, driving around Mr. Norton, it seems as if John Doe is living through a haze in which he is unsure what is real and what is fake. For all we know, he may be just another patient in Golden Day imagining things, and the rest of the whole story is his fantasy. But his social invisibility, despite all his ambition to reach for the top of the social ladder driving luxury cars and getting people to notice him, is what dominates his life, and I don't think this is necessarily because of his skin color alone. Rather, his constant associations with an organization that doesn't consider each member's individuality is what renders him invisible. And unfortunately, I think this will get the better of him. He'll get so caught up with his self-important that he won't see his quick disposal by the organization once their need of him has run its course. I mean, that's what happened at the school, even though he was one of the university's brightest students; this is what happened when he took a job in a paint factory. I wouldn't be surprised if it happens again, but this time he'll take it so personally that it'll really mess with his head. He'll really start to question his individuality and purpose in the world he lives in. I can't wait for that to happen; then maybe I'll get a name out of him.
It goes beyond the tough language, the seemingly endless sentences (that usually go on to create their own paragraphs), the sporadic way in which the narrator speaks, or even the narrator's own personal and quite twisted problems he's got going on in his head. No, this I can all deal with. At least, I can tolerate it. But the one thing that really grinds my gears, that I'm constantly reminded of as I open the annoyingly thin pages of this book, is that the narrator's name is never stated. There is no hint nor suggestion of his name anywhere in the 19 chapters that I have read so far. Like the drug commercials coined in their terrifying commercials--not even once.
Of course, it didn't seem like a big deal five chapters in. I kept thinking that his name will pop up somewhere, when Dr. Bledsoe calls him into his office, or when he writes his name for a job application. Anything, really. But it was finally the last straw when I meant to annotate a specific portion of a reading and ended up writing "He told him that he wasn't supposed to go, yet he goes against his own judgement?" Yes. Word for word, an annotation. I don't even know who I'm referring to at this point. It's irritating and distracting for my nit-picky brain that wants to know everything. And of course, the pain of annotating. I've given up on that a couple of chapters later; he's a John Doe in my mind.
But since all AP Lit books are written by genius authors who probably knew more or less what they were doing, I'm grudgingly guessing that Ellison had justification for leaving the narrator's name tag empty. Besides torturing future AP Lit students with the pain of not knowing,
And by acknowledging this style, the narrator's lack of identity becomes more profound in that his invisibility stems from his worthlessness in this world. Throughout the novel, the narrator loves likening himself to a machine of some sort, or as a minuscule fore in the grand scheme of things. When asked for an interview to represent the goals of the Brotherhood, the narrator replies, "I'm no hero and I'm far from the top; I'm a cog in a machine. We here in the Brotherhood work as a unit" (pg. 396-397). There are many cogs in a machine; you wouldn't waste your time naming each one. Likewise, he identifies himself as part of a unit; that is, he considers himself not even a whole being, but only a part of a larger picture. What is a name for, at this point? He is one out of millions of African Americans, one out of billions of human beings in this world. The absence of a name expounds on this statement that the author is trying to get across. In relation to the mass of humankind, this protagonist is nothing, even though he likes to think he's doing brave and innovational things. When he stands in a crowd with the rest of the population, he is invisible.
The main point I want to get out of this is that this narrator is not literally invisible. Which, really, is a stupid assumption to make, but I honestly thought he was in the first portion of the book. While he's at school, driving around Mr. Norton, it seems as if John Doe is living through a haze in which he is unsure what is real and what is fake. For all we know, he may be just another patient in Golden Day imagining things, and the rest of the whole story is his fantasy. But his social invisibility, despite all his ambition to reach for the top of the social ladder driving luxury cars and getting people to notice him, is what dominates his life, and I don't think this is necessarily because of his skin color alone. Rather, his constant associations with an organization that doesn't consider each member's individuality is what renders him invisible. And unfortunately, I think this will get the better of him. He'll get so caught up with his self-important that he won't see his quick disposal by the organization once their need of him has run its course. I mean, that's what happened at the school, even though he was one of the university's brightest students; this is what happened when he took a job in a paint factory. I wouldn't be surprised if it happens again, but this time he'll take it so personally that it'll really mess with his head. He'll really start to question his individuality and purpose in the world he lives in. I can't wait for that to happen; then maybe I'll get a name out of him.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Hamlet, the Crazy One
I hope for everybody's sanity's sake that their lives are nowhere near as bad as Hamlet's. He has every bad thing coming after him, and it's not even the end of the second act yet. To outline every problem he has so far:
-His girlfriend, Ophelia, has sworn to her father that she won't see him anymore because her father, Polonius, thinks Hamlet is using her and/or he's a bit creepy.
-His father, King Hamlet, just died.
-He was not given the crown; his uncle Claudius became king.
-His mother remarried to--guess who?--king Claudius.
-He was denied the opportunity to go to school by the king himself.
-He knows his father's killer--it's Claudius.
I think that covers everything…so far. Can you imagine a modernized version of this type of situation? Putting this all in a scenario, you are a 20-something year old man whose girlfriend unexpectedly stopped talking to you a mere month after you lost your father, who had owned a company with some type of inheritance plan. This inheritance plan doesn't include you, but in fact goes to his sketchy uncle who has the hots for your mom. And, despite your former belief that your mom only had her heart set on the man she married (your father), she happily jumps into marriage with this uncle less than a month after your dad dies. But somehow, you manage to get into contact with your father, who reveals that the true killer of his mysterious death is the evil uncle, and he places the sacred duty of vengeance on your small, young shoulders.
This is where I hit a small speed bump.
The use of the ghost is clever on Shakespeare's part in that the audience cannot help but distrust the bad omens the ghost brings. However, it tells Hamlet what seems to be the truth about what really happened prior to his death, and the ghost doesn't appear to be inherently evil; he doesn't come from hell, per se, but rather from Purgatory waiting to be purged of all sins. And yet, I find it hard to believe that Shakespeare himself was superstitious in comparison to the audience he was serving. And I too am pretty skeptical of this apparition. If we were to modernize this portion of the play, how would it be done?
I've had this theory run through my head a couple of times since I've thought about it, and now I can't help but notice how it could fit even in Shakespeare's time. Maybe the ghost doesn't really exist; maybe Hamlet himself is going crazy. It's plausible, at best. His mind is going through an incredible amount of stress, and to top it all of he has no way of releasing this inner tension that's eating off of him. In response, his mind starts projecting and hallucinating to account for this stress, to try and make sense of it (I worked on psychology for way too long today, being snowed-in and all). He imagines his conversation with his dead father's ghost and comes up to his own wild conclusion that his uncle killed his own father to put his own mind at ease. This is why his mother and Claudius want to keep an eye on him, and why everybody (including the sentinels) always seems so polite to him; they're afraid of doing something that could set Hamlet off. There's the outlier Polonius of course (who seems to hate Hamlet's guts), but I think I would be more sympathetic towards him if I knew that my daughter were to date someone as emotionally unstable as Hamlet during this difficult time. I have to admit that what Claudius and Gertrude have done, so soon after the late King Hamlet's death, is a bit creepy. But they could also be genuinely concerned for Hamlet's health; if they knew, as parents, how weird their situation was, they would do anything in their power to help Hamlet make sense of it. If Hamlet isn't responding the way they want them to, of course they'd be worried.
And this would be a perfect modern adaption of our 'ghost.' Regardless of whether Hamlet's hunch on the killer is right or not, considering the possibility of mental disorder adds depth to Hamlet as a character. If we don't even know if Hamlet has his head on straight, how do we discern reality from imagination? It's an interesting take on Hamlet's disposition, that his insanity from grief caused him to be this way. At least, I find that more believable than a "thoughtful" ghost guiding him to avenge his murder with more murder.
-His girlfriend, Ophelia, has sworn to her father that she won't see him anymore because her father, Polonius, thinks Hamlet is using her and/or he's a bit creepy.
-His father, King Hamlet, just died.
-He was not given the crown; his uncle Claudius became king.
-His mother remarried to--guess who?--king Claudius.
-He was denied the opportunity to go to school by the king himself.
-He knows his father's killer--it's Claudius.
I think that covers everything…so far. Can you imagine a modernized version of this type of situation? Putting this all in a scenario, you are a 20-something year old man whose girlfriend unexpectedly stopped talking to you a mere month after you lost your father, who had owned a company with some type of inheritance plan. This inheritance plan doesn't include you, but in fact goes to his sketchy uncle who has the hots for your mom. And, despite your former belief that your mom only had her heart set on the man she married (your father), she happily jumps into marriage with this uncle less than a month after your dad dies. But somehow, you manage to get into contact with your father, who reveals that the true killer of his mysterious death is the evil uncle, and he places the sacred duty of vengeance on your small, young shoulders.
This is where I hit a small speed bump.
The use of the ghost is clever on Shakespeare's part in that the audience cannot help but distrust the bad omens the ghost brings. However, it tells Hamlet what seems to be the truth about what really happened prior to his death, and the ghost doesn't appear to be inherently evil; he doesn't come from hell, per se, but rather from Purgatory waiting to be purged of all sins. And yet, I find it hard to believe that Shakespeare himself was superstitious in comparison to the audience he was serving. And I too am pretty skeptical of this apparition. If we were to modernize this portion of the play, how would it be done?
I've had this theory run through my head a couple of times since I've thought about it, and now I can't help but notice how it could fit even in Shakespeare's time. Maybe the ghost doesn't really exist; maybe Hamlet himself is going crazy. It's plausible, at best. His mind is going through an incredible amount of stress, and to top it all of he has no way of releasing this inner tension that's eating off of him. In response, his mind starts projecting and hallucinating to account for this stress, to try and make sense of it (I worked on psychology for way too long today, being snowed-in and all). He imagines his conversation with his dead father's ghost and comes up to his own wild conclusion that his uncle killed his own father to put his own mind at ease. This is why his mother and Claudius want to keep an eye on him, and why everybody (including the sentinels) always seems so polite to him; they're afraid of doing something that could set Hamlet off. There's the outlier Polonius of course (who seems to hate Hamlet's guts), but I think I would be more sympathetic towards him if I knew that my daughter were to date someone as emotionally unstable as Hamlet during this difficult time. I have to admit that what Claudius and Gertrude have done, so soon after the late King Hamlet's death, is a bit creepy. But they could also be genuinely concerned for Hamlet's health; if they knew, as parents, how weird their situation was, they would do anything in their power to help Hamlet make sense of it. If Hamlet isn't responding the way they want them to, of course they'd be worried.
And this would be a perfect modern adaption of our 'ghost.' Regardless of whether Hamlet's hunch on the killer is right or not, considering the possibility of mental disorder adds depth to Hamlet as a character. If we don't even know if Hamlet has his head on straight, how do we discern reality from imagination? It's an interesting take on Hamlet's disposition, that his insanity from grief caused him to be this way. At least, I find that more believable than a "thoughtful" ghost guiding him to avenge his murder with more murder.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Marriage Kills People
In Media Res, by Michael McFee
His waist,
like the plot,
thickens, wedding
pants now breathtaking,
belt no longer the cinch
it once was, belly's cambium
expanding to match each birthday,
his body a wad of anonymous tissue
swung in the same centrifuge of years
that separates a house from its foundation,
undermining sidewalks grim with joggers
and loose-filled graves and families
and stars collapsing on themselves,
no preservation society capable
of plugging entropy's dike,
under the zipper's sneer
a belly hibernation-
soft, ready for
the kill.
This one's a toughie. Like the title implies, there's a heck of a whole lot going on for a one-sentence poem. But the tempo at which I read this poem is interesting; the weird spacing of the poem isn't only to manipulate the shape (literally) of the poem, but to push or pull the reader to speed up or slow down. I've noticed from the poetry readings we have in class that the shorter the line is, the slower (or the more emphasis) we place on the critical word in that line. So, as I was reading this alone in my room and creeping myself out, I noticed on the second reading that I always unintentionally rushed the longest lines in the middle while I spoke slowly in the beginning and the end lines. I think it has to do with the fact that we want to read each line in the same amount of time; for instance, if it took me 3 seconds to read "His waist," then my mind would want to use up only 3 seconds to read all the other lines too. At least, that's what I think my brain is doing. This completely deviates from a more common sonnet or ballad, which more or less contains the same syllables in every line and therefore takes up the same amount of time to read. So, in addition to giving the poem this beer belly-like shape, the spacing gives it verbal shape that's interesting to note.
Sadly, that was the easy part. On to the content of the poem itself…let's separate the different topics the poet addresses. From what I discerned, there seems to be a fat man at his wedding, a small, yet repulsive discussion about skin and tissues, the world spinning out Of control in a centrifuge, an introduction to energy and disorders, which is then backed by the man's fatness which somehow is able to kill. Sounds about right. And like I said before, the shape of the poem almost takes a form of the belly of a man who's lost control. In media res is a popular phrase for many books and movies, which describes something as being "in the middle of the action." Open up a book, and it starts with a war before going backwards. Or see the beginning of a movie, which starts at the end of the whole story.
The action here isn't "action-y" in a physically strenuous sense; it's in the middle of a drastic change in someone's condition, which falls in line with the media res claim. This fat man is about to get married, a huge next step in the process of life. However, the focus of the first couple of lines isn't about his wedding, but about his size. The wedding itself has already made him a different person, at least physically; he's gained a lot of weight so that his belt doesn't rest the same way. Then it goes on describing his belly's skin, which I strangely find revolting even though it wasn't described with any particularly vulgar words. Comparing this to a plant's "skin," I think, is the reason why. It de-humanizes the man's stomach to be this nonliving flap of plant tissue. The use of "expanding" brings to mind unbaked bread in an oven, growing to the point of explosion. It's really gross.
And describing his body like a "wad;" gum, unshapely pile of blargh, comes to mind. Soft and malleable, the wad swings in a "centrifuge," the second word in addition to "cambium" that relates to some form of biology and nature. A centrifuge, as I've come to learn in biology, is a machine that spins tubes of blood extremely fast to separate the red blood cells (the living matter) from the nonliving plasma, which includes white blood cells and other extraneous liquids. From this point, many things come unhinged in the poem; a house comes off from its foundation, joggers are pulled away from sidewalks and dead people from the grave start shaking while the stars fall from their ceiling--eek. His home will be ruined, his efforts of maintaining his body weight by jogging, his relationship with his relatives, even his dreams (characterized by the stars) are flipped upside down, shaken and broken. This rapid movement and spinning can't be controlled, as he alludes to this shaking as an "entropy" that can't be tamed. He equates this spinning to a measure of disorder. As the zipper "sneers"--either in reference to the sound sneeeee that a zipper makes, or to its ironic and mean smile it makes as it's being zipped up--it contains this craziness that is his belly, his spinning, his disorder, behind a zipper jacket that is soft to the touch, but ready to explode.
So what is he saying about this obese groom? In the middle of the action, we seem to see a future of his marriage as the growing of disorder and craziness, exemplified by his growing stomach (which is also stereotypical of men who get married). It seems that the poet is saying that marriage unhinges you, in the worst possible way. Behind the curtain of a happy marriage is a certain amount of uncontrollable disorder borne out of this marriage that will eventually ruin his life, if not his marriage. A fitting title then, for in the middle of his wedding is actually the beginning of his downfall as he walks down the isle with pants that, already, seem ill-fitting.
His waist,
like the plot,
thickens, wedding
pants now breathtaking,
belt no longer the cinch
it once was, belly's cambium
expanding to match each birthday,
his body a wad of anonymous tissue
swung in the same centrifuge of years
that separates a house from its foundation,
undermining sidewalks grim with joggers
and loose-filled graves and families
and stars collapsing on themselves,
no preservation society capable
of plugging entropy's dike,
under the zipper's sneer
a belly hibernation-
soft, ready for
the kill.
This one's a toughie. Like the title implies, there's a heck of a whole lot going on for a one-sentence poem. But the tempo at which I read this poem is interesting; the weird spacing of the poem isn't only to manipulate the shape (literally) of the poem, but to push or pull the reader to speed up or slow down. I've noticed from the poetry readings we have in class that the shorter the line is, the slower (or the more emphasis) we place on the critical word in that line. So, as I was reading this alone in my room and creeping myself out, I noticed on the second reading that I always unintentionally rushed the longest lines in the middle while I spoke slowly in the beginning and the end lines. I think it has to do with the fact that we want to read each line in the same amount of time; for instance, if it took me 3 seconds to read "His waist," then my mind would want to use up only 3 seconds to read all the other lines too. At least, that's what I think my brain is doing. This completely deviates from a more common sonnet or ballad, which more or less contains the same syllables in every line and therefore takes up the same amount of time to read. So, in addition to giving the poem this beer belly-like shape, the spacing gives it verbal shape that's interesting to note.
Sadly, that was the easy part. On to the content of the poem itself…let's separate the different topics the poet addresses. From what I discerned, there seems to be a fat man at his wedding, a small, yet repulsive discussion about skin and tissues, the world spinning out Of control in a centrifuge, an introduction to energy and disorders, which is then backed by the man's fatness which somehow is able to kill. Sounds about right. And like I said before, the shape of the poem almost takes a form of the belly of a man who's lost control. In media res is a popular phrase for many books and movies, which describes something as being "in the middle of the action." Open up a book, and it starts with a war before going backwards. Or see the beginning of a movie, which starts at the end of the whole story.
The action here isn't "action-y" in a physically strenuous sense; it's in the middle of a drastic change in someone's condition, which falls in line with the media res claim. This fat man is about to get married, a huge next step in the process of life. However, the focus of the first couple of lines isn't about his wedding, but about his size. The wedding itself has already made him a different person, at least physically; he's gained a lot of weight so that his belt doesn't rest the same way. Then it goes on describing his belly's skin, which I strangely find revolting even though it wasn't described with any particularly vulgar words. Comparing this to a plant's "skin," I think, is the reason why. It de-humanizes the man's stomach to be this nonliving flap of plant tissue. The use of "expanding" brings to mind unbaked bread in an oven, growing to the point of explosion. It's really gross.
And describing his body like a "wad;" gum, unshapely pile of blargh, comes to mind. Soft and malleable, the wad swings in a "centrifuge," the second word in addition to "cambium" that relates to some form of biology and nature. A centrifuge, as I've come to learn in biology, is a machine that spins tubes of blood extremely fast to separate the red blood cells (the living matter) from the nonliving plasma, which includes white blood cells and other extraneous liquids. From this point, many things come unhinged in the poem; a house comes off from its foundation, joggers are pulled away from sidewalks and dead people from the grave start shaking while the stars fall from their ceiling--eek. His home will be ruined, his efforts of maintaining his body weight by jogging, his relationship with his relatives, even his dreams (characterized by the stars) are flipped upside down, shaken and broken. This rapid movement and spinning can't be controlled, as he alludes to this shaking as an "entropy" that can't be tamed. He equates this spinning to a measure of disorder. As the zipper "sneers"--either in reference to the sound sneeeee that a zipper makes, or to its ironic and mean smile it makes as it's being zipped up--it contains this craziness that is his belly, his spinning, his disorder, behind a zipper jacket that is soft to the touch, but ready to explode.
So what is he saying about this obese groom? In the middle of the action, we seem to see a future of his marriage as the growing of disorder and craziness, exemplified by his growing stomach (which is also stereotypical of men who get married). It seems that the poet is saying that marriage unhinges you, in the worst possible way. Behind the curtain of a happy marriage is a certain amount of uncontrollable disorder borne out of this marriage that will eventually ruin his life, if not his marriage. A fitting title then, for in the middle of his wedding is actually the beginning of his downfall as he walks down the isle with pants that, already, seem ill-fitting.
Monday, January 20, 2014
A Good Movie is Like a Good Book
The Green Mile is my favorite movie. Some spoilers will ensue (sorry!).
It has been for the past 3 years, as nothing I've seen after that fateful summer day made me change my mind. But for those 3 years, I've never been able to accurately describe why it is I love that movie so much. The ending was horrible; that is, it made you feel horrible. There's Tom Hanks (no context necessary there) and Michael Duncan, two actors with the best chemistry I've seen in a movie. But what more is there to that?
I wasn't sure until last week when I watched it again, except this time with the knowledge of a 1 semester, 2 week-old AP Lit student. As we've learned, poetry and pose (and all of art, for that matter) is about capturing a moment in life and showing it to others. This is an ugly moment that The Green Mile captures, ugly and revolting…and accurate. Of course they execute the John Coffey because he's black; that was their definition of justice in that time period. However supernatural Coffey's powers are, it might as well not have existed in the eyes of most white men. A very existential judgment to make in the name of justice, but this same convoluted thinking is also why any person convicted is considered innocent until proven guilty; no evidence, no proof, then no conviction. The director succeeds in capturing this moment, to keep in mind the monstrous as well as the virtuous sides of humanity that should never be forgotten. And no matter how much I cried about it, the justice of that time period would not have changed. That is the beauty of this movie above all others; justice is served in a negative light here, leaving the audience extremely, without a doubt, gnashing-your-teeth, I'm-going-to-email-the-director-about-this, angry. Angry, and sad, and shocked, and a whole bundle of inexplicable emotions that you can't place your finger on.
Most movies aren't like that, only because an angry audience can do horrible things to your ratings, I can only imagine. At least, that's how I felt watching The Shawshank Redemption, which oddly enough shares the same director as The Green Mile. The ending was a bit too fulfilling, it was definitely too good to be true. Yeah, John Coffey may have had unnatural powers that sucks evilness out of people's mouths, but I find that incredibly more realistic than digging through a prison wall and finding success after 19 years in prison. He should have died in prison, whether he was an innocent man or not; that would have better captured "the moment in life," where injustice exists in a man who just happened to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time. A conventional movie can't give out unhappy endings.
But books can. Who is there really to blame? The author? Oh please, he/she couldn't care less. You can have an unacceptable, yet rich ending that leaves just enough open ends to make you question what really happened, while being substantial enough to leave you satisfied (if even a bit angry). That's why The Green Mile still remains my favorite movie to this day; it acts like a book. I'll try very hard not to ruin anything, but everything in that movie is convoluted, much like a book. Symbols are twisted, allusions are turned inside out, and the ending will break you. The Green Mile does this brilliantly; it takes a giant of a black man with the kindest heart and the most unbelieving power of healing and life…a physically black man who is a figurative Jesus Christ in the prominently white South. He is the Jesus that anonymously saves lives without expecting anything in return, who would not hurt a fly. And this Jesus dies by the hand of man. What?!
What are the implications of this? That the eyes of man can't see graciousness and religious sanctity if it were right under their nose (or sitting in an electrocution chair?) That we are blind to prejudice that supercedes even Jesus-like figures? Who's right? Who's wrong? But of course there are no clear answers; like a good book makes you question without getting answers, The Green Mile does the same. All it does is capture that grotesque moment, a moment in our human history that needs to be remembered so it won't be repeated. The rest is up to you, viewer/reader.
It has been for the past 3 years, as nothing I've seen after that fateful summer day made me change my mind. But for those 3 years, I've never been able to accurately describe why it is I love that movie so much. The ending was horrible; that is, it made you feel horrible. There's Tom Hanks (no context necessary there) and Michael Duncan, two actors with the best chemistry I've seen in a movie. But what more is there to that?
I wasn't sure until last week when I watched it again, except this time with the knowledge of a 1 semester, 2 week-old AP Lit student. As we've learned, poetry and pose (and all of art, for that matter) is about capturing a moment in life and showing it to others. This is an ugly moment that The Green Mile captures, ugly and revolting…and accurate. Of course they execute the John Coffey because he's black; that was their definition of justice in that time period. However supernatural Coffey's powers are, it might as well not have existed in the eyes of most white men. A very existential judgment to make in the name of justice, but this same convoluted thinking is also why any person convicted is considered innocent until proven guilty; no evidence, no proof, then no conviction. The director succeeds in capturing this moment, to keep in mind the monstrous as well as the virtuous sides of humanity that should never be forgotten. And no matter how much I cried about it, the justice of that time period would not have changed. That is the beauty of this movie above all others; justice is served in a negative light here, leaving the audience extremely, without a doubt, gnashing-your-teeth, I'm-going-to-email-the-director-about-this, angry. Angry, and sad, and shocked, and a whole bundle of inexplicable emotions that you can't place your finger on.
Most movies aren't like that, only because an angry audience can do horrible things to your ratings, I can only imagine. At least, that's how I felt watching The Shawshank Redemption, which oddly enough shares the same director as The Green Mile. The ending was a bit too fulfilling, it was definitely too good to be true. Yeah, John Coffey may have had unnatural powers that sucks evilness out of people's mouths, but I find that incredibly more realistic than digging through a prison wall and finding success after 19 years in prison. He should have died in prison, whether he was an innocent man or not; that would have better captured "the moment in life," where injustice exists in a man who just happened to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time. A conventional movie can't give out unhappy endings.
But books can. Who is there really to blame? The author? Oh please, he/she couldn't care less. You can have an unacceptable, yet rich ending that leaves just enough open ends to make you question what really happened, while being substantial enough to leave you satisfied (if even a bit angry). That's why The Green Mile still remains my favorite movie to this day; it acts like a book. I'll try very hard not to ruin anything, but everything in that movie is convoluted, much like a book. Symbols are twisted, allusions are turned inside out, and the ending will break you. The Green Mile does this brilliantly; it takes a giant of a black man with the kindest heart and the most unbelieving power of healing and life…a physically black man who is a figurative Jesus Christ in the prominently white South. He is the Jesus that anonymously saves lives without expecting anything in return, who would not hurt a fly. And this Jesus dies by the hand of man. What?!
What are the implications of this? That the eyes of man can't see graciousness and religious sanctity if it were right under their nose (or sitting in an electrocution chair?) That we are blind to prejudice that supercedes even Jesus-like figures? Who's right? Who's wrong? But of course there are no clear answers; like a good book makes you question without getting answers, The Green Mile does the same. All it does is capture that grotesque moment, a moment in our human history that needs to be remembered so it won't be repeated. The rest is up to you, viewer/reader.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Amateur Predictions
Old empty bed...springs hard as lead
Feel like ol’ Ned...wished I was dead
What did I do...to be so black and blue
Even the mouse...ran from my house
They laugh at you...and scorn you too
What did I do...to be so black and blue
I'm white...inside...but, that don't help my case
’cause I...can't hide...what is in my face
How would it end...ain't got a friend
My only sin...is in my skin
What did I do...to be so black and blue.
I've got to admit, this is one of the creepier songs I've listened to, not only because it was the dead of night when I was listening to it and the recording was soft and scratchy, but the lyrics themselves make you feel utterly alone. In the prologue of The Invisible Man, it makes even more sense to have this song playing as the narrator--whoever he is--descends onto some trance-like state and has these visions captured by the 3 whole pages printed in italics. Since I have to Inception-ize everything, when I read this passage it was immediately like being transported into this dreamlike phase, where the song is playing 1000 times slower than it actually is. "Black and Blue" in itself is a creepy song, but when it's slowed down I can only imagine the horror of the rumbling trombones and the droning trumpets as the narrator struggles to navigate his way through his own unconscious. It's so disconnected down there. I don't like it.
Then there's the content--and context--of the song itself. Louis Armstrong, a legend in the jazz world and an imperative instrument in the fight for equal rights between all races in the United States, adds depth to the struggle the narrator already has in being 'invisible' (which I'm still trying to figure out--literally invisible, or contextually invisible?). A question comes to mind: does he believe he is invisible because he may be black? Is he invisible to the eyes of white men, if this is true? Invisibility is associated with darkness and secrecy, yet the narrator is obsessed with light and truth. Yet, he claims also that white men are nothing but corrupt beings. What in the world is going on here?
I keep going at a tangent about this; ok, back to Louis Armstrong. The real question here is why this song, "Black and Blue," is introduced in the Prologue. If the first chapter of every book gives away the whole purpose of the novel, then this song must be pivotal in its makeup. The song has nothing to do with being invisible; it focuses more on the struggle of dark-colored people in the United States during Armstrong's period, understandably. You can infer that by the way he states that his sin is found in his skin, and that in addition to feeling blue, he also feels "black;" it may allude to the figurative meaning of being dismal, of course, but also may hint at his skin color. But feeling both black and blue…feeling both dismal and depressed, maybe? He feels the blackness of death and despair, along with the blues of sorrow and calmness. These two colors do a good job in visually describing what the narrator feels like whenever he's invisible.
And the recurring question preceding the colors--"What did I do…?--gives way to the lack of control both the singer and narrator feels about his current situation. There's the obvious point: neither had the choice to be born dark-skinned (or invisible). And then there's a deeper, emotional aspect of it. Why are they always so dismal and in despair? Was it through each own's fault?
With all this in mind, it's time to predict. I might get a good laugh at this in two months when I finish the book and look back at this, but it's worth a shot. Judging from the emotions this song captures, the narrator is trying to find the cause of his isolation and sadness. This could be taken from a literal perspective (being centered around the Civil Rights movement, he could be an activist?) or from a personal perspective, as he tries to find out why he's invisible and comes to terms with why he ends up the way he ends up. Very existential, very grendel (yes, I just made that an adjective.). "The end is in the beginning and lies far ahead" (pg. 6)? And what about "The truth is the light and light is the truth" (pg. 7)? I'm telling you, this narrator's ambition is to be Grendel, and Plato is his mentor.
Anyways.
The novel also centers around isolation, either because the narrator is shunned from society, or because he feels himself intellectually separated from human beings…or a mixture of the two. "Aint got a friend," says Armstrong, and since the narrator is invisible I find it hard to believe that he has any friends either. But again, this parallels with the possible struggle of the dark-skinned man in a white-skinned community as he is shunned by the rest of society and carries the burden of ebony skin. Like Grendel's inner turmoil exemplified in his wrath against humans and Beowulf, the battle for equality here runs along the same lines as the narrator's internal struggle against his state of invisibility. There's the surface, and then there's the deeper level.
I'm interested to see where this book goes. It definitely takes getting used to; like the jump from Winesburg, Ohio to Grendel, I have to take the time to take off the gender glasses and rummage around my room for my existential ones again. But more than that, I'm curious to see why he's invisible, and if I've hit anywhere close to the mark on this prediction.
Feel like ol’ Ned...wished I was dead
What did I do...to be so black and blue
Even the mouse...ran from my house
They laugh at you...and scorn you too
What did I do...to be so black and blue
I'm white...inside...but, that don't help my case
’cause I...can't hide...what is in my face
How would it end...ain't got a friend
My only sin...is in my skin
What did I do...to be so black and blue.
I've got to admit, this is one of the creepier songs I've listened to, not only because it was the dead of night when I was listening to it and the recording was soft and scratchy, but the lyrics themselves make you feel utterly alone. In the prologue of The Invisible Man, it makes even more sense to have this song playing as the narrator--whoever he is--descends onto some trance-like state and has these visions captured by the 3 whole pages printed in italics. Since I have to Inception-ize everything, when I read this passage it was immediately like being transported into this dreamlike phase, where the song is playing 1000 times slower than it actually is. "Black and Blue" in itself is a creepy song, but when it's slowed down I can only imagine the horror of the rumbling trombones and the droning trumpets as the narrator struggles to navigate his way through his own unconscious. It's so disconnected down there. I don't like it.
Then there's the content--and context--of the song itself. Louis Armstrong, a legend in the jazz world and an imperative instrument in the fight for equal rights between all races in the United States, adds depth to the struggle the narrator already has in being 'invisible' (which I'm still trying to figure out--literally invisible, or contextually invisible?). A question comes to mind: does he believe he is invisible because he may be black? Is he invisible to the eyes of white men, if this is true? Invisibility is associated with darkness and secrecy, yet the narrator is obsessed with light and truth. Yet, he claims also that white men are nothing but corrupt beings. What in the world is going on here?
I keep going at a tangent about this; ok, back to Louis Armstrong. The real question here is why this song, "Black and Blue," is introduced in the Prologue. If the first chapter of every book gives away the whole purpose of the novel, then this song must be pivotal in its makeup. The song has nothing to do with being invisible; it focuses more on the struggle of dark-colored people in the United States during Armstrong's period, understandably. You can infer that by the way he states that his sin is found in his skin, and that in addition to feeling blue, he also feels "black;" it may allude to the figurative meaning of being dismal, of course, but also may hint at his skin color. But feeling both black and blue…feeling both dismal and depressed, maybe? He feels the blackness of death and despair, along with the blues of sorrow and calmness. These two colors do a good job in visually describing what the narrator feels like whenever he's invisible.
And the recurring question preceding the colors--"What did I do…?--gives way to the lack of control both the singer and narrator feels about his current situation. There's the obvious point: neither had the choice to be born dark-skinned (or invisible). And then there's a deeper, emotional aspect of it. Why are they always so dismal and in despair? Was it through each own's fault?
With all this in mind, it's time to predict. I might get a good laugh at this in two months when I finish the book and look back at this, but it's worth a shot. Judging from the emotions this song captures, the narrator is trying to find the cause of his isolation and sadness. This could be taken from a literal perspective (being centered around the Civil Rights movement, he could be an activist?) or from a personal perspective, as he tries to find out why he's invisible and comes to terms with why he ends up the way he ends up. Very existential, very grendel (yes, I just made that an adjective.). "The end is in the beginning and lies far ahead" (pg. 6)? And what about "The truth is the light and light is the truth" (pg. 7)? I'm telling you, this narrator's ambition is to be Grendel, and Plato is his mentor.
Anyways.
The novel also centers around isolation, either because the narrator is shunned from society, or because he feels himself intellectually separated from human beings…or a mixture of the two. "Aint got a friend," says Armstrong, and since the narrator is invisible I find it hard to believe that he has any friends either. But again, this parallels with the possible struggle of the dark-skinned man in a white-skinned community as he is shunned by the rest of society and carries the burden of ebony skin. Like Grendel's inner turmoil exemplified in his wrath against humans and Beowulf, the battle for equality here runs along the same lines as the narrator's internal struggle against his state of invisibility. There's the surface, and then there's the deeper level.
I'm interested to see where this book goes. It definitely takes getting used to; like the jump from Winesburg, Ohio to Grendel, I have to take the time to take off the gender glasses and rummage around my room for my existential ones again. But more than that, I'm curious to see why he's invisible, and if I've hit anywhere close to the mark on this prediction.
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